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Day ??? in Covid-19 Madness

This was a strange day, but so was yesterday, and the day before yesterday... it feels like strange is the norm these days. We woke up today to the police, phoning to follow up on a complaint we made. Less than fifteen minutes later we get a knock on the door! Who on earth is knocking on our door during a lockdown? It turns out, it's our next-door neighbour who suffers from mental health issues. She locked herself out, and she needed help with getting into her apartment. As she had no extra key and didn't know what to do, my partner phoned the police for her to get some help for the situation... the second time he spoke to the police that day, and he hadn't even had his morning coffee! A strange day indeed. Another fifteen minutes later and the police arrived. That was quick! Is it just me or is everything running more efficiently during lockdown? We let the police deal with the situation, and Theun (my partner) finally gets to have his morning coffee and a cigarette (...
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Cupboards

I felt a compulsion to confront something I had been avoiding for two years. Two cupboards in my house, one under the stairs and one by the back door to the garden. No exaggeration, both cupboards were intimidatingly full. Full, like when you watch a documentary on hoarding... full of random incongruous crap left behind by previous tenants; clothing, mail, DIY and building materials, suitcases, even a hockey stick, pair of medical crutches and a ridiculous electronic 'massage belt' (and the list could go on...). Previously, in moments of energetic proactivity, I had made multiple attempts to clear these two spaces, but had always given up half way through. There was always something that stopped my progress, like it had gotten too late, I'd already filled up the outside bin etc. I felt a bit of a failure. The knowledge that things were getting out of control turned into a feeling of shame that I kept repressing. The more cramped the cupboard, the more shame I felt, and...
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Nesting and Shadow Lives

Dream Diary Not too many scenes or details last night, but in my dream, I do remember deciding to go back to university to change careers. I saw myself filling out application forms for medical school and vet school both. I even received money for a bursary. ********** Today: I wake this morning with a new pimple on my forehead - yes!! Funny thing to say, I know... but yesterday, I took my first dose of pregnenolone in the hopes of beginning to address depleted hormones caused by chronic stress. This is a sign that something is already shifting inside my body. I also wake feeling disquiet from this dream. I sometimes feel unease over certain choices I've made with my career, that I personally could be pursuing a kind of work that is more aligned with direct care... that I should have listened to my parents and stayed at vet school thirteen years ago. I would have made a fantastic vet, or doctor, or physio for that matter; I often sense some underdeveloped vitality i...
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